It probably comes as no surprise to anyone reading this post that foster care is hard. No one ever said become foster parents, it's super convenient and easy. Rather, the call to foster care is one which embraces the inherent inconveniences and inevitable difficulties as worth it for the sake of redeeming that which is broken and offering light into that which can be very, very dark.
While orphan care undoubtedly involves changing the life of a child, it inevitably brings about significant and profound change in our own lives as well. For whatever change we may bring about for them, they will no doubt change us in ways we never knew possible.
I'm often asked questions like these: What is the best way to motivate people to get involved with orphan care? How do we recruit more foster families? Are there things we can do to get our church more involved? All good questions that are hard to answer - or maybe not. At the expense of sounding overly simplistic or theologically unrealistic, I can't help but believe the answer to these questions, and the many others like them, is not necessarily what we often assume it to be.
If we're not careful, our care of vulnerable kids and families can become shrouded in an evangelical hero complex that makes it more about us than it is about them. In the end, our good works can be promoted on the backs of the vulnerable to the detriment of making Jesus known as the true Hero in all of this.
While I am incredibly grateful to see a movement towards orphan care well up within the evangelical church in unprecedented ways, I am equally concerned that the rate of growth in zeal may at some point outpace the depth of wisdom we have in how to most appropriately respond to the crisis before us. In the end, if our passion for orphans exceeds our understanding of how to truly serve them, we will do more harm in the cause than we will good.
The weather in my city has been beautiful this week - mid 70's and sunny. The professional basketball team has been on a role, ranking among the highest in their division. The President of the United States even spent the night in one of our downtown hotels on Wednesday. It seems our city has had a pretty good week.
It was never God's intent for children to be left without a family. This is why Scripture says He assumes the role of "father of the fatherless" (Psalm 68:5) and “sets the lonely in families" (Psalm 68:6). This is the heart of God - a good, loving and gracious Father.
It was a Wednesday. We received a call from our foster care agency at 3:30 in the afternoon - a newborn baby girl had been taken into custody by Child Protective Services at the hospital and was in need of placement. "Are you interested?", they asked. Of course we are.
Compassion did not ask me to write this. My experience with them compelled me to. If it's true that the best form of marketing is having a product worth talking about, then Compassion International is a marketing genius. What they do is worth talking about.
Adoption is less about getting a child for your family and more about giving your family for a child. Caring for children without families does not begin with what they have to offer us but with what we must be willing to offer them, no matter what, at all costs.
I recently resigned from the Lead Pastor position at the church I started. It was a painstakingly difficult process, but a surprisingly easy one at the same time. While it was not without its sleepless nights, desperate prayers and long talks with trusted confidants seeking wisdom and counsel in navigating a confusing and life-changing decision, at the end of the day I knew it was the right thing to do - it was time for me to move on.
As Christians we are called to love and serve God with every aspect of our being. In Mark 12:30 Jesus quotes an Old Testament commandment when He says, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.”
In my city alone there were 9,116 confirmed cases of child abuse last year. That averages out to one child every hour helplessly victimized by those ultimately responsible for providing the care and nurturing they really needed.
Sometimes my kids' artwork is really bad. It's nothing but scribbles on a page, their misspelled names, mismatched colors or an abysmal failure to stay within any semblance of a line. But I love it all, every time, no matter what. Not because it is artistically brilliant but because it is deeply thoughtful.
My work with The Arrow Foundation involves engaging churches nationwide with resources to equip and mobilize the people of God to care for abused, neglected and orphaned children. Our mission is to see the Church go "All IN" for the cause of fostering, adopting and providing alternative forms of care for those whom God the Father is uniquely concerned - the orphan.
There's an old pastor's one-liner that goes something like this: Ministry would be much easier if it weren't for people. Of course there would be no ministry without people, but this cheeky statement is a "half-joking" way of saying something serious - ministry can be difficult because people can be difficult.
The imagery of adoption is used throughout Scripture to paint a vivid picture of the Gospel - God’s rescuing and redeeming love for us in Jesus. The list could be much longer, but here's 3 ways our care of orphans vividly demonstrates God's care for us in Jesus:
When I was in high school tennis was my life. I tried football in junior high but quit after the first season. I hated it. Aside from getting run over by mammoth 13 year olds twice my size I also suffered from severe asthma - I would literally hide an inhaler in my shoulder pads and pull it out while face down in the grass to sneak a puff or two without anyone noticing.
Perhaps we have overcomplicated the process of trying to figure out what "God's will is" for our lives when really it can be much simpler. Maybe it's not a formula to dissect or a mystery to uncover but rather the process of understanding how God made us and trusting in the purpose for which He did.
Being a pastor's wife is a great honor that often comes at a high cost. While it can be incredibly rewarding it can also be very, very hard. I've obviously never been a pastor's wife but I have been married to one for almost 12 years. Much of what I will say has been learned by watching her handle the role with dignity, strength and grace.