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Family
Foster Dads, Thank you for doing what you're doing. You are loving in some of the hardest and deepest and most complicated places. Places most men go to great lengths to avoid. Yet you, with arms open and hearts broken, have courageously stepped towards them for the sake of others. That is so counterintuitive, remarkable and beautiful. So, thank you.
Every day you and I are counting the costs of things. We do it with clothes, food, cars, homes, extra curricular activities, the way we spend our time and energy, how many times we hit snooze on the alarm clock, the friends we hang out with and even the ones we don’t. We do it intentionally; we also also do it subconsciously. In the economy of our daily lives, we are perpetually assessing the value of things, relationships and opportunities by determining whether or not the benefit of having those things in our lives will be worth the costs required of us to get them. This constant evaluation of costs, worth and ultimate value are a part of our normal daily rhythms of life.
The weight of foster care has the potential to either break your marriage or bond you like never before. You are not just bringing children from hard places into your home, you also bringing them into your marriage. The goal, of course, is for you to be closer, more connected and experiencing greater depths of intimacy because of it – but these things do not just happen, they must be intentionally cultivated and fought for. One of the most difficult seasons of our marriage was the early days of beginning our foster care journey.
Moms: The onslaught of blogs and social media outlets say "good" moms breast feed, make their own organic foods and never buy microwavable anything...especially dinosaur-shaped chicken nuggets. They are crafty, don't work outside the home and spend their days sewing quilts and embroidering keepsakes, baking pies and cooking gourmet dinners while never getting frustrated with their kids. They establish traditions in their home that their perfect children will pass on to their own perfect children one day. The house is never messy and the hair is always fixed.
I knew I loved my wife within 30 minutes after meeting her. True story. After walking her to class on our college campus and wrapping up our first conversation ever with one another, I knew she would be my wife. It was only a matter of time.
